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Coming Out as Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual or Transgender

"There are many good reasons to come out. It can be a tremendous relief to be open about your identity and to stop investing lots of energy in keeping secrets and worrying about what might happen if others "find out." Being honest can help to bridge that distance you may have been keeping from friends and family, and can result in closer and more meaningful relationships with loved ones. And when you’re not constantly worried about meeting others’ expectations, you can put all of your energy into being authentic--in how you dress, talk, spend your time, and date.

There are also reasons to wait to come out to others. If you are under 18 and/or financially dependent on others, you may not want to come out if there is a chance you will be kicked out of your home or left to fend for yourself. If you fear harassment, abuse, or loss of emotional support, this too may be reason to put off coming out until you are in a more secure position.

If you are unsure about whether or not to come out, take your time and think things through rather than acting impulsively. Read books or magazines by and for LGBT youth. Watch a video about LGBT issues, join an online community, or call an LGBT hotline. If there is a youth group or trusted adult to whom you can safely and confidentially turn, take advantage of this option. You may also want to keep a daily journal of your reflections, questions, thoughts and fears until you are clear as to the right path for you."

Exerpt taken from Coming Out: A Guide for Youth and Their Allies. 23 Jan. 2003. GLSEN. < >.



If you have decided that it is time to come out, the ALLYance provides a safe and accepting place with others who have experienced similar fears and allies who support your decision. Please feel welcome to  join us for a meeting. If a meeting is too large, you are welcome to contact the ALLYance advisor or officers.

Remember, coming out is a private matter that you, and only you, will know "when" the appropriate time occurs. Be honest, be yourself, and be proud of who you are. Being lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender does not define the whole of who you are, but it is certainly an important aspect of you!


Coming out resources: